index for this site plus a plethora of links
last update 03/2005

Coping
 

Checklist for meeting your own needs
  • have I eaten as I need to?
  • do I feel safe in my environment?
  • am I putting myself at any unnecessary risk?
  • have I done all I need to look after my health?
  • have I enlisted the help of others where I cannot help myself?
  • do I truly like and respect the person I am at this moment?
  • do I have earnest love and support from those who matter to me?
  • am I clearly and honestly showing affection and love for the people in my life?
  • am I acting out of sentiment?
  • any unfinished business?
meeting higher needs
  • is there beauty in my world and are my actions true to my concept of beauty?
  • am I distinguishing truth from untruth in my actions and words; or am I allowing illusions of truth?
  • am I acting justly to myself; or am I inflicting suffering on myself?
  • am I taking the time to savour the good and weed out the bad?
  • am I taking responsibility for my failings?
  • can I stand back and look at the big picture - content with my present part in it?

    •  
reminders
  • only God can change the past
  • my actions only affect the present
  • the future depends on my actions today
  • one is responsible for my actions but me
  • I do not accept responsibility for the actions of others
  • the only problems I can solve are my own
  • I can offer help, but cannot expect that help to be accepted
  • I can ask for help, but have no right to it
  • I make decisions regarding myself, not on anyone else's behalf
  • I will try to understand the truths and needs of others, I cannot expect others to understand my truths or needs
  • my rights are same as those of any other person and I will respect both
     
    self help with health
     Hang in there

    HELPFUL HINTS IF YOU LIVE ALONE AND ARE CHRONICALLY ILL

    CPR - I found this on the bulletin board in a lab while my blood was being taken, and asked for a copy.  Apparently a great many people had requested it and they had them ready to hand out.  It was taken from Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital, via Chapter 240's newsletter AND THE BEAT GOES ON...

Did you know
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?
         
  • Many people are alone when they suffer heart attack, what can you do?
  • Without help, a person whose heart stops beating properly begins to feel faint and has about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
  • However these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
  • A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and cough must be repeated about every two seconds without letting up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
  • Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keeps the blood circulating.  The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm.  In this way, heart attack victims can get to a phone, and between breaths call for help.
  • You'll be giving yourself CPR with this technique.
  • Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their life.
  • I had a heart attack in 1993, and many a night alone when I had chest pains, I felt helpless, and after a few emergency room experiences where I often felt I had wasted their time by not having a heart attack, I am now hesitant to call for help simply on the basis of chest pains.  Finding this article has greatly lessened the helplessness.
  • Always have a telephone nearby, with doctor and people who can help on speed dial.  I have used bold permanent marker on the back of the handset to list the speed dial key and the name of the person.  This way I do not need to have a nimble memory or reading glasses handy.
  • Always have two days worth of food in the house, in case you are not well enough to venture out to a store.  I'm fiercely independent and will probably starve before I will ask someone to shop for me.  Most communities now have on-line grocery shopping which is then delivered and you can use a bank debit card.  In Vancouver it is  quick.com you can also call Tom and Joanne, my neighbours. Most of us however can use a daily walk but in a pinch worth trying.
  • Motivation can be a problem, pets are wonderful motivators.  I walk because the dog needs to go out.  I have someone to hug, love and talk to.  I have three comfort kitty's who make me laugh at their antics, demand I get up once in a while to feed them, and instinctively they lie on my feet when they are cold.  My dog alerts me to mail delivery, someone knocking at my door, and when the fire alarm goes off (which I cannot hear).


    • www.flickr.com

  • Learn to give yourself Heimlich maneuvers.  I'll get around to putting it on this page.
  • Stay connected to people.  Make a point of striking up micro conversations with cashiers, store clerks, whomever.
  • Smile, others need acknowledgment too, and you'll most often get a smile right back
  • If you are like me and your world has become limited to just a few blocks from home.  Frequent businesses that are friendly and helpful (if you pay more, it's worth it).  I live in a neighborhood ( my neighborhood ) where most of the merchants are family owned. They are kind, helpful and big corporate stores don't need my money.
  • Laugh, buy a funny book, watch a funny movie.  You'll get a little more oxygen and improve muscle tone.
  • Stay active, produce something.  I propagate African Violets, have pets (dog, cats, tarantula, turtle and tropical fish).  Learn to set up a website.  Test your limits, and always rest adequately, do your best not to get carried away.


    • www.flickr.com

  • Organize your medication well beforehand.  Never wait longer than four days before running out to renew a prescription - sometimes your pharmacy may have to order to fill that prescription - that can take 48 hours).
  • If you are apt to forget things set alarms (old fashioned clock or a computer based alarm)  - I'll be testing some out and will post the best ones here.
  • Only bite off what you can chew, and don't ever apologize for not being able to join in or accept tasks for others.  Good people will have the capacity to understand.  No commitments can be broken if you haven't made any.
  • Learn to ask for and accept help, and learn the difference between pity and support.  People acting out of pity are useless and disrespectful.  People who are supportive are respectful.

    •  

     

    Don't Ever Give up!
    How about these losers?

      Albert Einstein
      as a little boy was dismissed by his teachers as "mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams".  the Zurich Polytechnic Institute refused to admit such a loser.
      Charles Darwin
      was told by his teachers he was at best average and in general more stupid than most.
      Louise May Alcott,
      the author of "Little women" was told by her family she should give up the notion of becoming an author.  she ignored her and her books were published, and better, very successful.
      Richard Bach's
      "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" was turned down by eight publishers before being printed in 1970.  In five years it had sold more than seven
      million copies in the US alone.
      Richard Hooker
      's novel "M*A*S*H" was rejected by 21 publishers before it was finally printed, turned into a hit movie and television series.
      Babe Ruth
      not only set the record for most home runs but also for the most strikeouts.
      Thomas Edison's
      teachers labeled him as too stupid to learn anything, they were in the dark, and Edison invented the light bulb and a few other things.
      Ludwig van Beethoven
      was a klutz on the violin and teachers gave up on him as a composer, despite them and deafness he created one more magnificent composition after another.
      Enrico Caruso'
      s teachers told him he could not sing and was encouraged instead to become and engineer.  He didn't listen and became one of the most famous singers of all time.
      Walt Disney
      was fired by an editor from a newspaper for his lack of ideas.
      Auguste Rodin's
      father lamented that he had an idiot for a son.  Auguste was the worst student at art school.  He went on to become a famous sculptor, among his works are the "Thinker" and the "Kiss".
      Fred Astaire's
      screen test notes read: "Can't act! Slightly bald! Can dance a little!"
      Henry Ford
      finally succeeded with the assembly line automobile manufacturing business after five abject failures.
      Winston Churchill
      failed grade 6, only to become Prime Minister of Britain.
      Abraham Lincoln
      lost two businesses, lost eight elections and had a nervous breakdown before becoming President.